What’s important to me is to create passive income for myself over the next year or two. The types of people who I associate with making significant passive income are driven, ambitious, and highly motivated. Also, they enjoy what they do (e.g. blogging, publishing eBooks, making courses, etc.). I feel like the difference between me and these people is that I’m not that ambitious or driven. I think I’m lazier than these people. Either that, or I haven’t really found what I could do to make passive income that I really enjoy. And for some of these people, they weren’t really doing something enjoyable. They were just setting something up for the sake of building passive income. I don’t want to do something just to make money. I want to do it because it’s something I enjoy. I guess one assumption I’m making is that these people didn’t enjoy what they were doing to create passive income. It’s possible that they all did. Maybe only a very few set out to make passive income through means that they didn’t particularly enjoy. But with so many ways to make money, that doesn’t have to be a problem. Also, maybe some people didn’t have to work so hard in the beginning. I don’t have to spend more than five hours a week to build passive income. I can even spend just a few minutes each day on it and not feel overworked or burnt out by it.
One invisible script that I held is that I have to do the most advanced coursework available to me so that I can be ahead of others in terms of ranking. This stopped me from taking courses that I thought I would just enjoy for fun or actually wanted to learn. For example, in high school, I took French 2 in my freshman year because I took French 1 in 8th grade. I wanted to learn Spanish, but I thought it would improve my class rank if I was taking a higher course. I took several AP classes in my junior and senior years simply because it would boost my GPA. Sure, it might have been nice for college, but I should have just taken the classes that I would enjoy.
I probably would have tried for a different major in college if I didn’t have the idea that I had to do math or science to make money. I probably would have studied either music or foreign languages. I could have still ended up teaching English in Korea with either of those degrees, and it would have helped me later with music production or teaching foreign language through online courses. I don’t regret learning business instead, but I definitely would have taken a different path if I didn’t focus on my limited knowledge of what makes money. Especially with the internet, you can make money in any field, any subject.
At least now, I can learn from my past. I can learn any subject and use it somehow, whether it’s for money or not.
Another invisible script is that I was too focused on making a lot of money quickly. I stressed myself out over this and it led to me experiencing psychosis and later hearing voices. I definitely regret this. I used to stress out over a lot of things related to money. It was not worth it at all. Now, my life is harder than normal because of hearing voices, and I would do anything in the world to get “back to normal” and not hear the voices anymore. Now, I don’t worry about money so much. Though, my parents do bring it up even now. It’s hard. It’d be easier if I moved out and was on my own so I wouldn’t have to stress about it as much even now. I always thought my environment was important, but hearing my dad ask me to take up jobs so I can earn more money also reminds me that living on my own is important. Money is not the most important thing in the world. It’s nice to have, but there’s no need to stress over it.
One positive script that I have is that I accept myself as I am. I accept the changes I’ve gone through. I realize that things would have been so much easier for me had I stopped hearing voices. So, I am happy with whatever progress I make and have been making. I realize that other people in my shoes might have done even worse than me. I am hopeful that the voice will go away so that I can reach my full potential. But in the case that it doesn’t, I’m okay with trying the best I can. I know it’s not easy.
Also because I am easier on myself, I am more accepting of others too. I realize that simply removing limiting beliefs or invisible scripts doesn’t always result in positive changes, as I have tried to remove limiting beliefs of the voice I hear and it ended up becoming more negative instead. It backfired for me. So, I realize this can happen to others too. I can’t simply eliminate negative thinking in others, so I want to accept them for how they are and be encouraging towards them when they make positive progress.
One invisible script I could work on is my beliefs about passive income. I always though passive income was easy, but making a lot takes work. But after posting my music on different streaming services, I think it’s possible to make a lot of passive income. I just have to learn how. And, I could still focus on the activities that I want. For example, if I want to sing, I could sing. I could produce the music that I want. I could hire someone to finish the song for me. I could ask people to contribute their artwork for the album cover. And, I could learn how to market it to make more money. I don’t have to do it all on my own. I also don’t have to spend a lot of time on it.
Since I’m focusing on finishing the Success Triggers course this month, I will set a goal to focus on producing music each day for maybe 10 minutes minimum next month. I’m not in a rush. I want to set small and achievable goals for myself. I’m so used to failing to keep up with certain habits and goals that I want to take my time with this. I could probably work on music a little bit every morning.
2020-08-14
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