How to Overcome Self-Hatred

Self-hatred usually stems from earlier experiences had as a child. If you experience self-hatred, it could mean that you have unresolved feelings or terrible memories from your past. If you allow those thoughts to linger and to continue on, you will form beliefs of self-hatred, and it will affect your everyday living.

Where did this idea of self-hatred come from?

If you were neglected as a child, you may feel as if you are unworthy of love or attention at such a young age. The reason may be due to how your parents treat you. You give meaning to the events of your parents treating you a certain way just because you are unworthy of love. However, that conclusion that you made in your mind is only one perception. That is to say, there are other more empowering beliefs or thoughts that can shift your experience.

How do you overcome self-hatred?

Let’s say every time you cried, your parents ignored you and move on to doing something else. It could mean that they cared about you, but that they didn’t know how to respond to your cry. It could mean that there was a gap in understanding each other since you did not know your parent’s native language. It could mean that just because they ignored you as a child doesn’t mean that other parents would react the same way. There are many different conclusions that you could come up with.

If you can draw up these different ideas of where self-hatred comes from, you can paint a new picture. You can reframe those thoughts to more empowering ones such as your parents did care, but they were busy taking care of other daily obligations such as housework or their job. And maybe at the time, you couldn’t do much for yourself or communicate with them, but later you could.

Letting go of this idea of self-hatred is not easy, but it is quite simple. What makes you different from anyone else? Why are you the only one who does not deserve to be loved? Can you see how you are just victimizing yourself to a point of self-destruction?

When you accept the past for what it was, that’s when you’re ready to move onto the stage of self-love. It does not mean that you deserved to be hurt or punished at that time during your childhood, but it could mean that you had enough strength to move on to the next stage of your life. It could just mean that as a child, you came up with a conclusion that hurt you, and that it’s time to change that idea.


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