Success Triggers by Ramit Sethi – D to C Principle

The D to C principle is dismissive to curious principle. It means letting go of your judgments and seeing what else there could be. It could give you a new perspective on things you view negatively.

I am critical of people’s relationships, especially through the photos I see on social media. I think about how superficial these relationships must be. I see hairless women with makeup and straightened hair getting into relationships with fat or not particularly handsome men. I know that’s a judgment on my part, because there’s more to a person than looks. But, I think of how absurd it is that these women spend so much time and effort on their appearance and they end up with men who look subpar. I wonder if these same men would get into these relationships if these women chose not to focus so much on appearance. What if they stopped shaving or waxing? What if they stopped wearing makeup? What if they let their hair be natural?

But, I guess I’m looking at it from the perspective of being a female who doesn’t remove her body hair, who doesn’t wear makeup, who rarely wears high heels and dresses, etc. I started an Instagram showing off my body hair, and men have been attracted to me just because of that. So, I guess it could work any way. And, there’s nothing particularly wrong with being attracted to a certain look. Although I look for more than just appearance in a relationship, I can’t help but think certain looks are more attractive in guys than other looks. And, that’s just one aspect of a person. I guess I’m just looking more for relationships where the guy looks like a typical handsome guy and the girl looks average according to society. I don’t see many of these relationships. But, maybe I’m too focused on people’s appearances too. Maybe these relationships exist, just not on social media.

I am critical of people who seem to work all the time and have little to no time being social with friends. I remember when I was working in Korea and studying, practicing piano, making videos, traveling, and still having time to hang out with friends. I didn’t find it such a big deal. I think it’s all about balance. And of course, there could be months where you’re focusing on just finishing some big projects. But the next month, you can definitely make time for friends. I feel like when people make the excuse that they “don’t have time”, they just don’t prioritize friendships. That to me is very sad.

But, maybe these people really enjoy their work. They could also have friends they work with. It’s okay to prioritize work. We all have different priorities. Maybe if I had work that really fulfilled me (like how music did for me in the past), then I’d spend less time with friends too and would be more absorbed in my work.

I also am critical of celebrities who care too much about their appearance. I used to be a fan of Selena Gomez, but I feel like she cares too much about how she looks. She mentioned a couple of times about how people made comments of her weight. I’m like, “Where hon?” Because honestly, I don’t see it. For people like me who have actually gained significant weight from meds, it seems like a slap in the face. And, I don’t let the weight I’ve gained bring me down. She also started her own makeup brand, which makes me feel even more critical of her. Out of all the things she could have created, really, something as superficial as makeup? Even skincare would have been better, but makeup is just appearance dear. Why waste your time perpetuating people’s insecurities?

But, maybe there’s more to it than that. I know makeup is also about expression and creativity. It’s like a paint and canvas, except it’s a face and makeup. Selena might also have other ideas that she would like to work on in the future. And, I guess there’s nothing really wrong with makeup. It’s just not something I would personally invest into. That’s okay too. We all have different interests.

One product I thought was ridiculous was an avocado slicer/masher. It’s so simple to slice an avocado in half with a knife, take the pit out with a knife, scoop it out with a spoon, and mash it with a fork. You don’t need any fancy tools to do this. But, I will admit, I don’t think it’s ridiculous anymore. Some people aren’t good with knives and their hands might slip and get cut. Some people also have trouble using their hands due to physical disabilities. So, these tools can aid them.

I remember watching Jersey Shore and thinking, “Wow, this is crazy.” I wouldn’t watch it now. But, I get why it’s appealing. People like drama. People like partying. So although it’s not for me, I get why people watch it.

I’ve heard of people trying a keto diet. I think it’s not worth it, because you might crave carbs and end up eating more than you would have had you not been on the diet in the first place. I know some people who tried it, but had trouble continuing. I don’t really get diets that are restricting. I felt like it was just a fad.

I can definitely see how the D to C principle is useful. It helps you look at things from a different perspective. It opens your mind. And, you might even explore new ideas from being curious. For example, I didn’t understand why some people don’t really seem to make time for friends. But, I thought, “Wow, how nice would it be to do work that’s so fulfilling that you forget about the world around you.” I’m open to that.