Sometimes, I Feel Stupid

There were times when I thought I was pretty smart, but nowadays, I feel pretty average. Once in a while, I feel stupid. I don’t think that’s a bad thing. I don’t feel down on myself just because I’m not as smart as other people. I just realize there’s a lot out there that I don’t know.

When I think about starting a business, I feel like I only possess a limited amount of knowledge. I feel like I should have tried harder in school. Maybe it wouldn’t have mattered though. Although sometimes I feel stupid, I know that I have more knowledge in certain subjects than other people. I know people who have “succeeded” in life who even admit that they’re pretty mediocre, but that they’ve learned to be consistent or do things differently that allowed them to have the success that they do.

Sometimes, I think it’d be nice if I knew more. It’d be good for validation purposes, for.a hobby, maybe for business, and maybe to socialize more. Or, maybe it’d improve my standard of living. Like if I had more knowledge of how to identify and remove limiting beliefs, maybe I’d be dealing with hearing voices better or would pursue a certain business idea and succeed at it. Who knows.

Other times, I think there’s no real point. Sure, learning more allows growth. But sometimes, I wonder if growth is really necessary. I mean I guess if you’re not growing, you’re at a standstill or going backwards. But is that necessarily bad? Doesn’t that happen with age anyway, when people’s health deteriorate slowly?

I guess it’s okay not to know so much. I mean even if you have more knowledge, it doesn’t mean you’re necessarily apply it. You might not share your knowledge. It could be like having a book of universal secrets that no one ever opens to read. What’s the point of knowing something if you’re not going to use it?

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with “being stupid”. And honestly, that’s all subjective. Would you call a baby stupid just because they can’t walk or talk? Or would you called a toddler stupid for not knowing calculus? How do you truly judge someone for being stupid? It’s based on comparison.

I remember feeling like a fraud in my economics seminar. I understood and took a few courses on economics. But when it came to the seminar, I felt like I didn’t know much and that others around me knew much more. Maybe that wasn’t the case, but I was even grouped up with a student who seemed highly intelligent. He seemed to know a lot about economics from a global standpoint, and some of what he said flew straight over my head.

But, I know I’m not alone in this. Another time, I took a game theory class, and it was towards the end of the quarter that I learned from the majority of the other students that they had no idea what was going on in the class as well. In fact, I ended up somehow receiving some of the highest test scores in the class, and even I didn’t understand what was going on!

I also think that by feeling stupid at times, I’m more likely to give people a chance regardless of their educational background or what they know. I care more about personality and values. I’m open to learning. So, it’s not all bad.

Some people might feel bad and beat themselves up over the head for “being stupid”. There’s no need for it. You can always be open to learning. And, you can realize many people are in the same shoes as you. There’s not a single person who knows everything in the world. And, there’s probably something you know or you can do that other people can’t.

Here are some things I know / can do that some people don’t:

– Building WordPress websites
– Posting music on streaming services and making money with it
– Speaking Korean at an intermediate level
– Writing/reading in Korean
– Taking public transit
– Playing piano
– Producing a song on Logic Pro X or GarageBand
– Typing 80+ WPM
– Basic swimming
– Riding a bike
– Singing on pitch

And here are some things I don’t know that some people do know:

– Driving on the highway
– Advanced swimming techniques
– Crocheting
– How to make $100/month with my blog
– Drawing professional portraits
– Building a house
– Running a marathon
– Singing high notes in chest voice

Of course, there are many activities I can add to both lists. These are just short examples. But when you look at it from this perspective, it shows you that there many be a lot of things you know or don’t know. And, these lists can look different from person to person. And just because you don’t know one thing, doesn’t mean you’re any less of a person. Just because someone doesn’t know something you know doesn’t mean they’re stupid. It’s just something you (or the other person) haven’t learned yet.

Don’t be so quick to label yourself as “stupid” just because you don’t know as much. It doesn’t mean you have to label yourself as “smart” either. You can just accept that you know certain things and you don’t know other things. That’s okay. That’s how everyone is after all.

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