Success Triggers by Ramit Sethi – Know Your Value

I’ve been undervaluing myself in producing music. I always wonder, “Is it worth it to buy a beat or hire a music producer just for me to produce a song?” Of course it’s worth it, for more than just the money too. It’s a growth experience. I guess I’m waiting until I have a large fanbase or until I have lots of money to spare. But, lots of artists start off small and grow bigger over time. That’s why I shouldn’t be afraid to invest in making music. But I guess also, I’m worried I’ll spend money frivolously. For example, what if I buy a beat and can’t come up with any good lyrics for it? Then I’ll have wasted money. But I could easily listen to a sample and try to come up with lyrics for it before I purchase the beat. So, it’s something I can deal with.

Just the other day, I looked into a service called Rent a Friend. It’s exactly as it sounds. If you have extra tickets to a concert and can’t find someone to go with, you could hire someone to go with you and hang out. Or if you just want to meet someone, you could meet them this way. Some people end up not charging after the first hangout, so you actually become friends. And some people charge for more other services besides hanging out. For example, some will listen to you vent and give you advice, some will teach you a skill, some will be your workout buddy, etc.

I decided to sign up for it and put in my description ideas of what we could do such as me teaching them Korean, us learning Spanish together, me giving them advice, and more. So far, I didn’t get any requests. It’s still too early to tell. But, I’m not meeting in person. I’m only doing this virtually for now.

I posted this on my body hair positive Instagram. There was one man in particular who was soooo upset by this. In one of his comments, he wrote, “Disgusting.” Mind you, this is a man who has messaged me almost daily ever since I started my account. At first, I replied to him back when I didn’t receive many messages. I said thank you for his support and kind words. And then, I remember getting annoyed with him because he would message me, “Hi, how are you?” every single day without fail and I would always give the same answer as my mood hardly changes which is, “I’m okay, thanks.” There was a time he’d even message me within the same day to ask how I was again. So needless to say, I stopped reading his messages. But every day, I’d see the number of messages increase by 1 or 2 each day. He wouldn’t stop messaging even though I stopped replying.

So one day, I got irritated, opened his messages and replied something along the lines of being sorry for giving him the wrong idea and not being interested in talking to him especially when I wasn’t feeling so well those days. It was true I wasn’t feeling well those particular days, but I wish I just left it at, “Sorry if I gave you the wrong idea, but I’m not really interested in talking to you.” I also said how he shouldn’t keep messaging me if I am not replying to him, it’s overwhelming to receive so many messages. Anyway, he responded back right away and said sorry. I expected that to be the end of it. But then shortly after, he said, “I thought we were friends.” And then he sent me a few more messages. I read it, but didn’t reply. I certainly did not reciprocate the feelings of friendship. I was just trying to be polite by replying. To me, he was just a follower.

Anyway, the messages continued. I stopped reading. And then, I restricted his account. When you do that, their messages go back into your message requests. So, I would read him asking me why I wasn’t replying. Didn’t I just tell him to stop messaging repeatedly if I don’t reply, but he did it anyway? When someone doesn’t listen to me, it just makes me want to avoid them even more. So anyway, he kept sending me more messages.

And then, when I posted that I would be happy to talk to others in exchange for money, he posted three comments in reply. He couldn’t believe I was now charging people. He said it’s what people do when they start getting a lot of followers. Uh, yeah, because we don’t have all the time in the world to be responding to everyone dear. People charge for psychic readings, learning a skill, consulting, therapy, and more. What’s the difference? There is no real difference except now you’re pissed that you can’t talk to me for free anymore. If I had mutual feelings of friendship with you, I’d still be talking to you. But obviously, I don’t feel the same. In fact, you’re technically harassing me with messages instead of having common decency and realizing that not everyone has to reply to you or want to talk to you for free.

My point in bringing that up is that it reminded me of Ramit talking about how people commented that he was a sellout the first time he started selling his eBook. He didn’t make any money for a while starting off because he was worried about the criticism. And so was I. I thought people would be like, “Why are you doing this?” But like him, I found that there were some people who approved of this and were even willing to pay. Someone said they’d pay me $25/hour just to hang out and chat. Sounds awesome, right?

Imagine if I just let that man get to me. I wouldn’t offer my service to anyone, and would continue ignoring the many requests I get every day. Instead, now, I can be available to some people to chat for a mutually agreed upon idea. I am valuing my time and realizing that others find it valuable as well.