What Are Some Maladaptive Coping Skills?

A coping skill is a way in which we manage or deal with stress. There are two ways in which we can deal with stress. The first is called adaptive or positive coping skills, ways in which we can deal with stress in an uplifting or beneficial manner. The second is called maladaptive or negative coping skills, ways in which we engage in behaviors that are not beneficial or helpful in the long run.

There are many ways in which maladaptive behaviors can present themselves, in some cases existing as unconscious behaviors that we engage in. Here is a list of just some of those maladaptive behaviors and why you should not engage in these kinds of behaviors.

Excess use of alcohol

It is okay to drink once in a while when you are of age. However, people sometimes have a tendency of drinking more than they should. Overuse of alcohol can be damaging to your health, both physically and mentally. It is a depressant, meaning that it can reduce the activity in your brain and cause you to engage in behaviors that are risky or detrimental to your overall health. Additionally, over drinking can lead to blackouts, completely wiping your memory of the night before.

If you are taking prescribed medication or supplements, alcohol can lead to those medications or supplements being less effective. It may cause you to incorrectly believe that the medication or vitamin pills are not working when in fact they are just being negatively affected by the consumption of alcohol.

You may feel happy in the moment drinking. But after the buzz is gone, you may experience a negative void once more. If you drink to avoid your problems, you will find that your problems are just getting worse by not addressing them head on.

Smoking

Inhaling carcinogens is detrimental to your health in the long run. It can be relaxing to breath in and out these substances. However, it is advisable to learn how to just focus on your breathing without the cigarettes. Breathing can be a more meditative, relaxed, and fresh way of dealing with stress.

Smoking is not only bad for your lungs, but bad for the environment. How many times do you walk out into the neighborhood and see cigarettes lining up the street? Plus also, smoking can be damaging to your relationships. Some people suffer from asthma and can also be triggered by the smell of smoke that is caught up in your clothes or body. The odor is less than pleasant.

Oversleeping

Some people have the tendency of sleeping or napping throughout the day as a way to deal with stress. Although sleep is good, too much sleep can lead to low energy throughout your days. It can also prevent you from tackling problems head on. Sleep can be a way of avoiding reality. Eventually, you’ll have to wake up and face life. So why not avoid sleeping during the day and reclaim some of your time back? (If you’re a biphasic or polyphasic sleeper, then this might not apply to you.)

Watching too much TV, YouTube, or the news

Watching TV shows all day can have a negative effect, especially if you spend your time absorbing negative content from the news. When all you do is consume, consume, consume, you leave little time to pursue hobbies or activities that engage your unique skills and talents. Or in the case of watching the news, you allow all the negative stories to cloud your vision and scare you from going out there and exploring the world. We have to remember that life is not the same as it appears on TV.

The same goes for watching too many YouTube videos or Netflix all day. You drain your creative powers and end up spending most of your time consuming too much content and doing nothing with it. This doesn’t apply to you if you utilize what you’ve learned from TV or YouTube (e.g. trying a new recipe from Peaceful Cuisine). But overall, consuming too many videos can lead to you being inactive all day, especially if you don’t take breaks in between watching videos.

Overeating or undereating

People may either under or overeat when they experience stress. However, it is important to stay on top of your meals and to make you that you are getting adequate nutrition. If you are fasting (e.g. for religious reasons), you want to be careful not to overexert yourself. You want to make sure you have a balanced diet that serves your body in the long run. And of course, you should consume more healthy foods rather than giving in to processed junk foods.

Overeating can be a hard habit to kick since our brains are hardwired to ensure that we are getting enough nutrients. When we stress, we send signals to the brain that may cause us to eat more through survival instincts. Nowadays, the stress that we deal with is much different. But in the past, stress was a way for the body to gather much needed nutrients. A similar event occurs when you under eat. Your brain is signaling as a sign of stress that you have to eat less and run on your own body’s fuel.

What you’ll want to do is to first deal with the stress head-on. See where it is coming from and try to resolve it first. Then once you’ve addressed that issue, you can focus on your eating. Maybe take smaller bites or chew more times per bite. Smell the aroma of your food and indulge in it slowly. This can help with both under and overeating.

Playing too many video games

Playing video games can be fun, especially if you’re playing games with friends. However, you want to make sure not to overdo it. Otherwise, at least try to make some money off of it like PewDiePie did through streaming or YouTube videos.

You want to make sure that if you enjoy video gaming, that you take the necessary breaks from it throughout the day. And, you want to make sure that it doesn’t consume your life. Well, that is unless you’re a pro gamer. In that case, consider changing video gaming into a work lifestyle.

Watching pornography

Watching pornography, especially in large amounts, can lead to one becoming disillusioned with reality. What is shown in porn is often times just a fantasy for how real life sex actually works. Meanwhile, it disconnects you from people and causes you to create imagined scenarios in your head of how other people are relating to you.

Rather than watching porn, it is advisable to engage in real relationships. Form friendships and close bonds with people. Try your best to form genuine relations and connections with people rather than closing off your mind to an imagined fantasy.

Shopping too much or shoplifting

Although shopping can be therapeutic, too much shopping can be a hindrance to your financial goals. It’s possible for one to shop their problems away. The problem is that if you treat all your problems through shopping, you may overindulge and get too caught up in material things.

And of course, shoplifting is not advisable. Shoplifting can be a form of thrill for some people, who try to see how much stealing they can get away with. However, that high feeling is only temporary, and of course it is also immoral.

Fist-fighting or throwing tantrums

Some people deal with stress by harming their loved ones. This is a maladaptive practice that is not only bad for your own wellbeing, but for the wellbeing of others. Rather than aiming to hurt someone, it is better to self-reflect in private and to learn how to calm down. It is important to practice safe and good habits to reduce anger in times of conflict.

Throwing tantrums rarely solves anything. In fact, it could turn people away from you. So rather than throwing fists and getting more upset, learn how to take a breather and to calm down, easing your mind and getting into a more relaxed state of being. Then, you can begin to form safer connections with people and also learn how to form your thoughts before you take impulsive action.

Damaging property

Along with throwing tantrums and fist-fighting, damaging property is another maladaptive coping skill that is highly destructive. Some people have a tendency to punch holes in walls or destroy other people’s property. Rather than using violent means to get your thoughts across, it is better to find ways to alleviate your stress and not fly off the handle.

Perhaps a better way of deflecting your anger is to punch something soft such as a pillow. That way, you don’t hurt yourself or other people’s (or your) property in the process. Or, you can engage in activities and sports such as jiu jitsu or basketball to release your anger.

Gambling

Gambling a little bit is okay. But if you form an addiction to gambling, you could lose out on all your life’s savings if you’re not careful. You want to make sure that if you do gamble, that it’s only for pocket change, what you can afford to lose out on. Otherwise, it is best to avoid gambling.

Hoarding items

Nothing speaks stress than a messy environment. You want to make sure your things are in order and organized. A messy environment can lead to more stress and anxiety. When everything is nice and clean, it is not only pleasant to look at, but easier to function in.

Negative self talk

Some people engage in negative self talk. When you spend most of your time talking yourself down, it can take a toll on you. And if you get too caught up bringing yourself down, you will have a hard time finding the good in life and prevent yourself from enjoying life.

One way to deflect negative self talk is to learn how to remove negative beliefs about yourself or about the world around you. You may want to journal your thoughts out and focus on the positives about yourself. Write about your strengths, and find ways to strengthen and address your weaknesses.

Even something as simple as practicing gratitude daily could help improve your negative self talk. Talk to yourself as you would talk to a friend who is struggling. Or, talk it out through therapy. A little positivity can go a long way once you redirect the negativity through positive self talk.

Self isolation or social withdrawal

Many people tend to self isolate themselves when they are stuck in a rut. However, it can be beneficial to engage in more social interactions as a way to combat stress. If you’re not feeling in the mood, start off small. Dress up every day as if you have some place to be. Brush your teeth. Comb your hair. Paint your nails.

You don’t even have to engage directly with people if you’re not in the mood. What you can do instead is go for a nice walk out in your neighborhood. Maybe say hi to the mailman or to your neighbors. You could put on earphones if you’re feeling antisocial, but at least going out once in the daytime can be beneficial for you. Get some sunlight each day.

Bad hygiene

Some people practice poor hygiene as a result of not caring for themselves. You might not have to take a shower daily, but at least bathe or shower as frequently as needed (a few times per week) to refreshen your body. Comb your hair so that it is nice and neat.

Taking care of your personal hygiene is not only good for you, but pleasant for the people around you. You eliminate bad body odors through washing your body. And overall, you feel better, nice and clean.

Emotional dysregulation

When you experience emotional dysregulation, you find it difficult to control your emotive responses. For example, you may be sensitive and be prone to crying a lot. Or, you may have a hard time managing your anger.

Rather than going with the emotion, it is a good idea to see where that emotion is coming from. See if you can get to the root of the problem. Then, do your best to address it either on your own or with the help of a loved one or therapist.

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Overall, there are many maladaptive coping skills. This is just the tip of the iceberg. Being aware of your maladaptive coping skills can help you figure out how to better manage your stressors and practice more positive or adaptive coping skills. It’s important to identify the maladaptive coping skills that you face regularly in order to find another good habit to replace it with.

Just to give an example, let’s say one of your go-to maladaptive coping skills is to smoke cigarettes. Rather than smoking a cigarette, you might find it more beneficial to talk to a loved one or a therapist instead. Or, you might find it better to engage in a yoga class. Perhaps you can try listening to a meditation track that emphasizes breathing. There are plenty of these meditation tracks available on YouTube.

Try your best to deflect some of your maladaptive behaviors with more positive or adaptive skills. If you have many negative coping skills, you may want to start off with the most pressing maladaptive behaviors first. Then, gradually build up a toolbox of positive coping skills that you can rely on instead (e.g. listening to music or belting out your favorite song rather than punching a wall).