Worthiness

Where does our idea of worthiness come from?

Your brain has a way of concluding thoughts or ideas based around your experiences. Part of it is due to survival instincts. Back in time, before supermarkets and residential housing existed, our brains perceived some events to be fearful or negative as a way to protect ourselves. But in the modern age, we are less prone to danger. Despite us knowing consciously that we are safe, our brains may form different conclusions that stem from our past experiences or mostly during childhood. When we are children, we are quick to form beliefs and ideas based on how we were raised.

Most of our ideas surrounding worthiness usually for the most part begin from our childhood. We look up to our parents and guardians, and we feel that anything they do means something good or bad about ourselves. Our parents or guardians are our gateway for learning about the world. Some parents absentmindedly raise their children to be fearful, which can affect them in much later years if not treated right away. The earlier we catch our limiting beliefs about life, the more you set yourself up for success.

Let me share with you an example of how this works. If you as a child used to cry for attention only to have your parents ignore you or beat you several times, you may feel unloved or not deserving of happiness or love. However, that is just one conclusion of many. As a child, you may conclude that you don’t deserve to be happy. But if you look at those events, you will see that there was no meaning of unworthiness there. Your parents may have treated you poorly, but that does not mean that there are other parents out there who would have given you the attention and love that you deserved. Or if a past teacher of yours was there, they may have stopped your parents from treating you poorly. And just because you were treated poorly once, does not mean that you can’t enjoy your life. It could just mean that your parents were stressed and they did not know what they were doing. But, you can own your power back and say that you are deserving of love and that some people in your life do care about you and treat you well. Perhaps if you searched for other friends or mentors and told them about how your parents treated you, they would stand up for you and say that you are worthy of love.

Unworthiness does not have a color or shape. It is just an idea. And where did that idea come from? It came from your mind. Before you had these events occur, you were just you. You had no preconceived notions or thoughts. There was no sign or paper that stated you were unworthy in that moment. All you experienced were events. Your parents might not have known a better way to take care of you. They might have been treated similarly when they were younger. You can reclaim your power by understanding how the mind works in this way.

Am I worthy of love?

Your mind can make up any conclusion of repetitive thoughts. Why set yourself up for failure when you can change your mindset and have it work in your favor? Instead of feeling as if you are unworthy, you can reframe your thoughts to be more loving and more in alignment with self-care. You can become your own best friend.

Worthiness is a concept that our mind creates. What makes you and everyone else different? It is our experiences. If someone else were in those shoes, they may have made the same decisions, saying that they are unworthy of love based on how their parents treated them. But just because you are treated one way, does not mean that you can never be treated another way. This is how you can open your mind and look at events from different perspectives. And of course, the best approach is to adopt the best mindset. Whatever is good is what you accept. Whatever is negative can linger in the background.

In my opinion, everyone is deserving of love. Sometimes, this can be a hard idea to grasp, due to us blaming people from our past. So long as you make an effort to understand how your mind works and have it work in your favor, you’re good to go. (;