How to Set Up Boundaries for Yourself

People have all sorts of different boundaries. According to a handout from Wellness Reproductions, people who have healthy boundaries know how to set up limits and know what they will allow others to do or not to do. People with unhealthy boundaries have trouble trusting people and have poorly defined limitations.

A way for you to figure out what your boundaries and limitations are is to first figure out what you do and do not like. For example, some people are serious and do not like to joke around. Others do not like being told what to do.

The way in which we can develop healthy boundaries is to be clear about what it is that you will or will not accept. Once you figure out what those boundaries are, you should stand up for those boundaries and values that you are aligned with.

Some people prefer to be left alone, and others prefer to seek help from others. And during the course of our lifetime, some people prefer privacy and may later change to seeking help, and vice versa. When you feel as if your boundary is being pushed, you should speak up for yourself and say no. There is nothing wrong with saying no to another person, and you shouldn’t feel as if you cannot decline a request.

Personally for myself, nowadays, I like spending a lot of time alone (personal privacy). But other times, I like socializing with friends. I haven’t been able to do that much lately as my life became kind of hectic and busy, but I would like to reconnect with some of my friends and family again.

It can be difficult to set up boundaries at first, but over time, you can figure out how to set up those boundaries. Make sure those boundaries are clearly defined. For example, if you do not like being touched by other people, you should speak up for yourself and say, “Don’t touch me”, or “Keep your hands off me.”

You also should be careful about the people you associate yourself with. Some people are selfish and greedy, and some others are truly selfless. But if you can find those people who know how to balance being selfish and selfless, you’ve found something special.

One boundary I set up for myself is, “Don’t touch me”, unless I am comfortable with you. The second way that I set up a boundary for myself is to tell people no and ask them to leave me alone when I feel uncomfortable.

Everyone has various triggers and responses. So, you must learn how to accept other people’s boundaries as well. You cannot be that selfish and just consider yourself. You have to consider what others want too. And of course, you have to be careful and learn how to trust.

Another way you can set up boundaries is to limit your interactions with certain people. For example, you may set a schedule so that you do not have to receive phone calls past a certain time (perhaps your bedtime).

And, you should learn how to respect others’ boundaries too. Some people don’t know how to do this. But, you have to continue trying and doing your best to set up boundaries for yourself.